MINDGOGGLING

I fight crime

6 notes

All right, so this was bothering me. A lot. I mean, not the actual picture itself- I actually like the juxtaposition of the costume and then suddenly underwear, and the art itself is all right, and I’m liking the comic.
No, the thing bothering me about this picture is why is Peter wearing boxers? I have a couple of pairs that are like that, with legs that aren’t fitted to the body. And I HATE waiting tables in them because they always bunch up and are uncomfortable, and that’s only after standing, walking, sitting to wipe down tables, and bending over to sweep. I don’t hang upside down with my knees bent and feet together, or crouch a lot, or generally move in ways that would contort my boxers. Plus, wouldn’t that show through the costume and be embarrassing? That thing is really form fitting and it just would not do, imo, to go around as bunchy boxer butt spider-man.
So I thought about it, and the more I thought about why Peter would be wearing boxers in the spidey suit, the more my headcanon about his underwear drawer became concrete. I assume that he has three types of underwear.
The first type are novelty underwear. That’s what also got me about Peter wearing boxers. Like, if he’s going to wear boxers, then they should be novelty boxers. Like with big red lips or hearts or smiley faces all over them. Or holiday themed boxers- Kiss me I’m Irish print boxers, boxers with candy corn or candy canes all over them, ect. In fact, I could totally buy him wearing like, boxers with Christmas light print all over them in August, because all his other pairs were in the wash. (I also assume he buys Spider-man and Fantastic Four underwear. The former because how could you resist buying your own logo, and the latter because he’s a huge nerd.)
But Peter also seems to be the kind of guy who’s going to try and be comfortable, so I assume he’s got briefs or boxer briefs for when he’s Spider-man. He might get stuck wearing boxers under the uniform if like, the Green Goblin attacks suddenly and he has to change, but before a long night of patrolling? It’s worth five minutes to pull on a pair of underwear that are form fitting.
Then I realized there was a third type of underwear he would inevitably have. That would be underwear other people buy for him. Specifically, Aunt May. She certainly wouldn’t buy him goofy underwear when he could have sensible, plain white underwear. He probably gets a pack of underwear for every Christmas and birthday. He probably got tighty whiteys for a long time until he finally had a very embarrassing talk with her about how they’re not the most flattering and maybe boxers would be better.
So obviously he’s wearing those boxers because when he went out to patrol that night, he needed to do a load of laundry and decided that boxers were better than freeballing it.
There you go internet, headcanon on Peter Parker’s underwear drawer.
You’re welcome.

All right, so this was bothering me. A lot. I mean, not the actual picture itself- I actually like the juxtaposition of the costume and then suddenly underwear, and the art itself is all right, and I’m liking the comic.

No, the thing bothering me about this picture is why is Peter wearing boxers? I have a couple of pairs that are like that, with legs that aren’t fitted to the body. And I HATE waiting tables in them because they always bunch up and are uncomfortable, and that’s only after standing, walking, sitting to wipe down tables, and bending over to sweep. I don’t hang upside down with my knees bent and feet together, or crouch a lot, or generally move in ways that would contort my boxers. Plus, wouldn’t that show through the costume and be embarrassing? That thing is really form fitting and it just would not do, imo, to go around as bunchy boxer butt spider-man.

So I thought about it, and the more I thought about why Peter would be wearing boxers in the spidey suit, the more my headcanon about his underwear drawer became concrete. I assume that he has three types of underwear.

The first type are novelty underwear. That’s what also got me about Peter wearing boxers. Like, if he’s going to wear boxers, then they should be novelty boxers. Like with big red lips or hearts or smiley faces all over them. Or holiday themed boxers- Kiss me I’m Irish print boxers, boxers with candy corn or candy canes all over them, ect. In fact, I could totally buy him wearing like, boxers with Christmas light print all over them in August, because all his other pairs were in the wash. (I also assume he buys Spider-man and Fantastic Four underwear. The former because how could you resist buying your own logo, and the latter because he’s a huge nerd.)

But Peter also seems to be the kind of guy who’s going to try and be comfortable, so I assume he’s got briefs or boxer briefs for when he’s Spider-man. He might get stuck wearing boxers under the uniform if like, the Green Goblin attacks suddenly and he has to change, but before a long night of patrolling? It’s worth five minutes to pull on a pair of underwear that are form fitting.

Then I realized there was a third type of underwear he would inevitably have. That would be underwear other people buy for him. Specifically, Aunt May. She certainly wouldn’t buy him goofy underwear when he could have sensible, plain white underwear. He probably gets a pack of underwear for every Christmas and birthday. He probably got tighty whiteys for a long time until he finally had a very embarrassing talk with her about how they’re not the most flattering and maybe boxers would be better.

So obviously he’s wearing those boxers because when he went out to patrol that night, he needed to do a load of laundry and decided that boxers were better than freeballing it.

There you go internet, headcanon on Peter Parker’s underwear drawer.

You’re welcome.

Filed under Spider-man boxers or briefs things I care about shut up I'm an adult

  1. spoopymeganium reblogged this from mindgoggling
  2. mindgoggling reblogged this from robospider9000 and added:
    Shut up you love me. You also listened to me work out the finer points of this essay, so double shut up
  3. robospider9000 reblogged this from mindgoggling and added:
    THE WOMAN I AM GOING TO MARRY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN